You Might Not Watch the Show Correctly. || Survivor Tocantins episode 11 review

This week’s Survivor brings out a great game of Two Truths and a Lie!


Number one: This was the best episode of the season and has essentially turned me into a Tocantins fan.


Number two: Coach is ridiculous. Hilariously ridiculous, but ridiculous.


Number three: Sierra was the best player in the game.

It’s really all up to interpretations, but if you know how to play the game of Survivor (and it's clear a certain blonde does not) and you can’t figure out which one is the lie, you’re not watching the show correctly.


Then again, if you didn’t think Tyson was funny, you’re not watching the show correctly either.

I am a believer in this season now. This episode was phenomenal. Favorites win reward, least favorite goes home, Coach decides to be funny, and I have way too much to talk about, good and bad. Prepare for a very long recap and analysis.

I’m starting with the reward challenge. I’ll get through the contestants near the end, in order from favorites to middle to least favorites to eliminated (hahaha, oops), like I did last week.


Sierra, you don’t know what a Fervadora is. Stop making that face before things are described to you.

I love this challenge so much. It brings out everyone’s opinions, and it’s just really hilarious to watch everyone be upset to hear all the negative things about them. It’s also fun to guess and put your opinions on the contestants, even though you’re not living with them.


I’d feel bad for my boys, but really? What “potential” was Sierra not living up to? She had no potential to get far in the first place. She only did because Timbira was stupid and Jalapao kept losing. I’m sure if Coach stopped assuming Erinn was a snake, Jerry didn’t get sick, and Candace didn’t rub people the wrong way, Sierra would’ve rightfully been the first person eliminated on Timbira. Coach was definitely the obvious answer.

While Sierra wasn’t my personal pick for “who is most likely to stab me in the back”, I think it’s stupid for her to think she would never do that, like she claims in her contestant commentary. She stabbed Coach in the back and she didn’t have an alliance after Brendan left, leaving her gameplay very erratic and distrust worthy. I understand why people would think that. Nevertheless, Coach was the obvious answer once again.

I also didn’t think Sierra would be the money waster. I don’t own any Prada items, so I don’t know exactly how expensive they are, but even without her glasses, Erinn came off as very princess-y this week, and it was almost annoying.

I did, however, say Sierra was the one I’d least like to see win. Because she didn’t deserve it. Neither does Coach, but at least he’s been playing. I’ll jump on all that later.

The other two questions I will discuss while analyzing the people.


Congratulations, Stephen! It’s about time the poor child wasn’t sent to Exile. Although I never knew Erinn’s spot in the ‘Paos’ alliance was that legitimate. I always thought that was just JT trying to make friends. Nevertheless, she’s the only one I can see continuing to the final four if the ‘Paos kick off the older ‘Biras next.

While it is painful to listen to Sierra’s voice making commentary, I will give her this – she is right about Stephen being stupid. By picking Taj and JT to join him on the reward, he did pretty much sell out his alliance. Oh well, it’s not like no one knew the ‘Paos were sticking together. ‘Paos to the end, right? Right. At the same time, I really need to ask either Stephen or Joe where the hell the nickname “Jet” came from. Seriously, I really hope JT’s middle name is Evan or something because it’s so annoying how some people are too lazy to say an extra syllable. On top of that, it might be one less syllable, but it’s one more letter to say “Jet” as opposed to “JT”. I’m getting way too irritated at all these nicknames.


I bet someone feels at home, chilling out with cows on a farm.

As usual, there isn’t much to recap with the rewards. The food looks incredible over in Brazil. You don’t get that much ethnic food in Maryland. We have a few Asian supermarkets and shit around, but it’s all whatever. I think this right here made the reward sequence amazing.



BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Homegirl knows what’s UP.


The Fervadora looked really cool, but really scary at first as well. When JT said his feet weren’t touching the bottom of the spring, I figured that might not be a reward on which I’d like to go. Actually, it is, but I’d be holding onto JT the entire time. One, I’m very short, and JT’s tall, so if JT can’t touch the bottom of the spring, I’d probably drown. Two, I can’t swim. And three, it’s JT. Duh. However, Tyson explained it in this week’s Ponderosa video, so it’s probably not as scary as it seemed at first sight.


Immunity challenge was awesome for a while. I want to know why everyone thought Erinn was so good at challenges in the beginning of the season. Aside from a few puzzles, she hasn’t done a single thing to prove she’s that great at challenges. This week was no exception.


It’s been way too long since I’ve screamed “FUCK”, as loudly as I did Thursday night, in response to a challenge end. I’m sure my friend Sherry could hear me from Wisconsin. Knowing her feelings on Coach and JT (hates Coach, loves JT), I could hear her screams as well.

I didn’t have much of a problem with Coach winning so to say. He did a really good job in this challenge. Coach is usually very embarrassing and poor in challenges, but I have to hand it to him – he owned it this week. He didn’t invent the grappling hook like he says on his Twitter (which I kindof don’t believe is real to be quite honest), but he did a good job. I had more problems with was more the fact that JT lost. Exactly how many immunity challenges has JT come up so short on winning singlehandedly? Too many. I was hoping this would be his week to change everything. You know, this would be the week that would start the run on which Stephen wanted him to go. Unfortunately, he lost to someone who’s usually really bad at challenges. I’d be upset if he lost to Debbie as well, but you know. I just feel bad for him. Also, JT might’ve thrown his chances of winning the immunity challenges away, but one has to give him props for at least contemplating a tricky move. It got him far enough to the end. He was close to winning it. Poor boo.


Oh well. He can fly like paper and get high like planes next week when he starts his run of the season (Yes, I just made a very bad joke on his nickname. Gotta poke fun at my favorite sometimes, you know.).


Also, every time I win a video game or some form of showdown against someone, I will shout “DRAGON SLAYER” really loudly to announce my victory. Fact.

Well, that was fun. I did more work on challenges then I did last week, but I had too much to cover last week. Time to discuss the actual people!


First off, Brendan laughing during every tribal council makes me laugh. Despite how he deserved to go home when he did, I adore Brendan. Absolutely adore him.

My favorites really haven’t changed in the slightest, despite the gameplay that was being evolved within another person. Why? Because my boys are better at their gameplay. Plain and simple. Especially this one.


Okay, so I definitely misheard the comment from the reward (he won the "who can you trust with your life" question, hands down, obviously) and just found out he was talking about his accent, but honestly? JT hinted that he is using their trust and stupidity to get further in the game. I called it. He’s not exactly the most trustworthy person in the game, but he’s playing that portion very well. He doesn’t scheme like Stephen does, but while Stephen’s the thinker, JT’s the actor. Sometimes, people act before they think. I think JT’s playing the game extremely well, and if he can keep it up, he’s winning. I think Stephen will end up taking it in the end, but there’s no doubt in my mind JT’s in the final three. Probably even the final two depending on who wins immunity by then or who’s stupid enough to take him.


Also, let it be known that he is now the only person left in the game without a single vote against him. At all. Considering how he is a major threat in this game, if you don’t think he is doing something more than right at the moment, you're not watching the show correctly.


Stephen made one mess up, but it was so obvious that Stephen knew Coach was lying to JT. Stephen knows things and he doesn’t get any credit for it. A lot of people rank him pretty low because he’s not a target. So they’re ranking him pretty low because he’s too good of a player, but they’ll rank Sierra high because she’s the cute blonde of the season. Because that makes sense. Righttttt. (She’s not even that cute either!)


Also, is it me, or is Stephen getting kinda hot all of a sudden? For a nerdy boy, he’s got a nice body. Then again, I think this is the first season where there hasn’t been a legitimately unattractive male contestant (Coach is a creep, but he is built well for being thirty-seven and having all of those “life changing events” happen to him. You can’t deny it, Coach haters.). But really, Stephen’s no JT, Stephen’s no Tyson, and Stephen’s no Brendan (hell, Stephen’s no Joe, but that’s probably for the better. I miss Joe, but he got the boring edit. I wish he did more), but Stephen’s getting pretty damn attractive. I need to stop being shallow. Moving on…


Taj really didn’t do anything this week except be a mama to the little girl that was scoping out JT (as I said, girl knows what’s up). I miss pre-merge Taj though. She was all cool like Cirie before, only more likable, but now she’s laying back and chilling, like Cassandra. Okay, she’s not nearly as bad as Cassandra. Cassandra did nothing but sit around and chill. At least Taj is willing to discuss strategy with the boys. But it’s all repeating what they were saying, and it’s not the same as how Taj was in the beginning. I never expected the Exile alliance to make it to the final four because I always thought Stephen was planning on bringing JT to the final two one way or another, whether it included backstabbing Taj or not. But she hasn’t done anything since, and she started off as such a strong player.

The way I can describe Taj’s gameplay is to compare it to a mock turtleneck. A mock turtleneck is an article of clothing that really, really wants to be a real turtleneck and has all the potential to do so. It tries and tries and tries very hard to meet that end result of being a real turtleneck, but right when it’s time to prove it deserves to be such a garment, it decides “eh, I’m bored now. I’m gonna sit back and chill instead.” And it stops, falling short of being a real turtleneck.


Taj’s gameplay is like that because she started off with all the potential in the world to become one of the best strategists of the season. She worked hard to build the Exile alliance, and she was very proud of that accomplishment. She spend the tribal portion of the season being such an interesting player, but when it came to the merge, once Joe left and people were getting rid of Brendan, she decided “eh, I’m bored now. I’m gonna sit back and chill and vote Brendan out for not discussing the alliance and shit with me instead.” She hasn’t done anything legitimately strategic yet. It’s so sad to watch.

She was hilarious in the reward challenge though.


“Little Debbie, it's not personal. I just wanna eat.”

LOVE TAJ SO MUCH.

Debbie went up and down for me. Taj might not have done anything this week, but Debbie had both good and bad points to her.


Cute!Debbie is a good Debbie.

She was so cute in the immunity challenge (and in the reward with that “who would not survive out here alone” question), so it made me happy to see her in the final round. Sure, it proved she’s a forced to be reckoned with in challenges (let’s see, she almost beat Tyson in one challenge, won another, and made it to the final round in this challenge. She also lifted a lot of weight when they were tribal. She’s good at challenges.), but I just thought she was adorable.


“Debbie with her first bag!”

CUTE!


Strategic!Debbie is a good Debbie.

I’ve been waiting so long for Debbie to become a player of the game. I hated the whole idea of a reunited Timbira alliance, considering how, now that Tyson’s out of the game, I am most definitely “’Paos to the end”. But let’s face it – it’s about motherfucking time someone thought about targeting JT and the ‘Paos. They are threats. I don’t understand why no one sees that, but props to Debbie. I’m glad it never went through, and it was never going to go through, but props nonetheless.


On the other hand, Upset!Debbie is a bad Debbie.

The crying was way too excessive this week. I felt awful for her, but I didn’t at the same time. I think I only felt that bad for her because I don’t like Sierra.


Lying!Debbie is also a bad Debbie.

It’s not the fact that she lies that makes her a bad Debbie. Honestly (no pun intended), you can't play a 100% honest game and deserve to win. You just can't. Bob lied last season. JT has lied this season. Everyone past the merge this season has lied, except maybe Joe, but Joe never did much anyway except be kinda hot. Everyone lies, you can't that against Debbie. She’s just pretty bad at lying. It’s probably not her forte, and she’s probably not okay with her scheming and lying being broadcasted on national television so her middle school students can watch her be dishonest, but she was just pretty bad. Also, her first blow up at Sierra, to the brat’s credit, was pretty stupid. Didn’t she ask who the alliances were? Didn’t Sierra just tell her? I don’t really get it. Her lying to defend herself was okay, but the first argument didn’t make a lot of sense.

None the less, I still love her. If it wasn't for me going to college next year, I'd kill to have Debbie as my high school principal.


I hate saying this, but Sierra was right in that commentary on the reward. Homegirl needs a brush.


Erinn was SUCH a princess this week, it was obnoxious. Usually, she’s just some hot filler girl talking about things, comparing her stories to everyone else’s, saying “me too!” to everyone’s life stories (except Coach’s. Because if you say you’ve been kidnapped by a tribe in the Amazon as well, Coach Wade will probably rip your shit up and test you. That’s not fun.), ordering French toast when she doesn’t even like it. You know, that kindof stuff. This week, she was just very prissy.


PRISS.


SO MANY FEATHERSSSS.


I’m very happy Coach was not a raging fuck towards my boys at the beginning of the episode. I definitely thought this would be Rupert vs Fairplay all over again, even though Coach didn’t get any votes. I’m just happy they lied and were real chill about it. Sure, it’d be better to vent, but still. Even they can’t deny it was a very strong move to get Tyson out of the game.


I’ve noticed that JT and Coach like to hug it out. Part of me has no other choice but to think there’s gotta be some good in this guy if JT doesn’t mind hugging him. Or going to the bank with his word, for that matter. I think, from now on, whenever I'm confident about something, I'm gonna talk about going to the bank. Thanks, Alabama.


At the same time, I think Coach has a crush on JT. I think everyone in this season has a bit of a crush on JT to some extent, but really? I mean, their little alliance was called the “Warrior” alliance. “Warrior” is JT’s nickname. Coach named the group. Not to mention, it’s always Coach and JT, never Coach and Stephen. I mean, can't you see it with those bedroom eyes in this picture? (PS, back off, Coachie. JT's a straight boy, but if he's gonna be bromancing it up with anyone, it's Stephen. NOT YOU.)


Dramatime. When Sierra was initially calling him out, what he explained to the ‘Paos and Erinn was, for the most part, true. Coach is a liar, but this time, he wasn’t lying the whole way through. Debbie did bring up the idea of the ‘Biras being a new alliance to Sierra. Sierra did turn it down and go off on some tangent. Debbie did start crying. After that, it was all a lie, but at least up to there, he was telling the truth. You have to admit, that’s exactly what happened. Though I have to admit, I'd be pissed if I was in Debbie's spot when Coach was calling her out.


That’s not to say he didn’t lie to JT. I think JT only believed him for a second because he thinks Sierra is a lying bitch, he hates her, and wants her away from his fucking face (that audio does NOT get old, I swear). Coach is a very terrible liar. Debbie’s a bad liar too, but goddamn. Coach is just awful.


I think JT was planning on ousting Sierra anyway. I don’t think Coach needed to push JT’s buttons in order to seal the deal of ridding the tribe of the baby. It was pretty unnecessary in my opinion, therefore deeming him a very weak player. Sure, Sierra approached Stephen about the ‘Biras at the same time Coach did JT, but would Stephen really believe her? Maybe at first. If he approached JT and Coach about it and Coach denied it without putting any blame on Sierra, I would only think Stephen and JT would fall for it and still vote her out. Then, Coach would be a good player. Instead, he lied to JT, Sierra told Stephen the truth, both stories came into contact, and the ‘Pao boys didn’t know who to believe for a while. If Coach just left the ‘Bira alliance out of the discussion of Sierra, JT and Stephen would’ve ignored Sierra and voted her out, whether she was right or wrong. However, when stuck between two stories, one from Coach, one from Sierra, who do you think they’re gonna believe? I’ll straight up say it – I hate the bitch, but even I would believe Sierra over Coach.

Then, Tribal Council. I usually find fights entertaining, and I certainly didn’t think this week’s was going to be nearly as epic as last week’s with the “Tyson loves everyone except Sierra” speech, but oh fucking Lord. Coach is definitely last on my list now that Sierra’s gone, but even I can’t deny how hard I was laughing at all of this mess right here.


I’m not transcribing it. Lucky for you – I have it on audio. (Sierra's expression is priceless.)

Seriously, as awful and incorrect as it is, this shit was comedy gold. I thought his conducting in the clip show was the peak of his entertainment. I stand corrected. This was brilliant as it was ridiculous. And it was pretty fucking ridiculous.

So, obviously, Coach is even lower than he was in everyone’s rankings last week, and he was already at the bottom. He’s at the bottom of mine because I don’t like his gameplay and I can tolerate everyone else. However, he’s not my least favorite because at least he’s trying to play. It’s a shitty job, in my opinion, but an effort is an effort. You have to give him some form of credit, even if it’s a little. He’s way too hard to believe though, so I’m really excited to see him in the reunion. Usually, people become even more realistic than before in the reunion show, shedding themselves of their edits. If this is how he really is, someone needs to take him to an anime or some form of Asian convention where he can be protected from people in the real world. If he acts like this more than he acts like a coach (and he’s really lovable as a coach, in my opinion), he’s bound to get Marcel-ed.

Now, for the fun part.


I’ll admit, Sierra was a little less annoying this week than she was last week. I’m not changing my opinion on her though. She’s still my least favorite contestant this season, and I think she is the most overrated contestant in the history of Survivor (and there have been some pretty terribly overrated contestants). Nothing will change that.

Fans of the show should know better than to fall for the edits. She doesn’t deserve the sympathy and love she’s getting from the edits and the viewers. You know you’re doing something wrong if you win almost every single negative consensus vote in that reward challenge. I’m actually very shocked that she didn’t blow up at everyone because of that, but I guess it’s professional that she didn’t. Stacy didn’t in Fiji, and Stacy stopped being hateable. Sierra didn’t, but she would’ve been worse if she pulled an Alicia and cried because no one wanted her to win.

Also, what the shit is up with her and Erinn? That was never announced, and it should be. What could Erinn possibly be doing to cause such irritation between them? I mean, I know Erinn doesn’t have a very good sense of humor at all, but still. I don’t get it from Sierra’s side (I get it from Erinn’s side because I feel the same way – Sierra’s fucking annoying). It was worse last week, but still. I think Sierra’s jealous because Erinn is a foxy lady and Sierra looks like a mouse. Or a rat, depending on what photo you’re looking at.


She played the whole ‘Bira alliance conversation totally wrong. She shouldn’t have brought up Coach and Debbie’s votes. She should’ve said “I’ll think about it. I’m confused on what to do,” then go to JT or Stephen, tell them what’s popping, and try to boot Erinn or something. No, instead she put herself in more trouble by telling Coach and Debbie what was popping. Naturally, because she’s the only honest person in the game (not even, really, Erinn’s lied much less than Sierra has), people want her to win fan favorite this season. First off, she will not because it will go to the man to whom it should go. Second, she doesn’t deserve fan favorite because she hasn’t done anything but be boring and annoying and stupid the entire season. Everyone needs to stop playing the sympathy card and wake up to reality. Sierra is NOT the best player of the game, she never will be, and she never deserved to win. Face it, her chances of winning and deserving it were just as slim as Coach’s were. She was not robbed, she is overrated, and her honesty does not qualify her to deserve to win anything involving this game. You don’t win Survivor and deserve it by trying to be honest the whole time. Fact.


However, I’ll give her credit on this – she left with quite a bang.


Naturally, her “bang” made her look even more obnoxious and annoying, but that happens with anyone who plans on leaving with a bang. It was good to see Coach caught in a lie, twice, but if she thought that upped her chances of continuing in the game, she’s even stupider than she comes across on TV. It did not work to her advantage. I’m sure JT and Stephen believed her beforehand. It just made her look like a crabby baby. It was not going to benefit her in the slightest. She was still going home, and she better be grateful that she made it that far, although she didn’t deserve it as she should’ve gone instead of Candace.

She should be happy. She got two girls to not vote for her. I think it’s stupid. Erinn, Taj, it doesn’t matter if she caught Coach in a lie. Vote with your alliance, it doesn’t matter if Coach is voting with them too. If Erinn hates Sierra enough to write her name down a thousand more times, a silly lie should not break that statement. Besides, now Coach will be on you for trying to vote out the ~Wizard~.

What Sierra’s decision to announce Coach’s dishonesty will do is get Debbie eliminated next week, if she doesn’t win immunity. It was never going to help her – it was just going to hurt the ‘Biras (minus Erinn because she didn’t care). You should play to help yourself – not to intentionally hurt anyone else. That just makes you look like a jackass. What do you think happened to poor Tyson? He wasn’t a jerk at all, but he targeted Sierra instead of JT and it made people stupid enough to hate him. Except since this is Sierra and not Tyson, she’s treated like royalty instead (I was going to use the “treated like Jesus” phrase that I use all the time when describing highly praised people, whether they deserve it or not, but I just realized Coach was using the bible in his rant, so I’d rather avoid it this time. Also, I’m sick of Sierra fans trying to educate me about Jesus. I’m taking Buddhism next year, guys!). Because that makes total sense, right? Wrong.


In response to her going home, I have to say “good riddance”. Sugar was overrated last year, but she at least did something with her game. She planned the ousting of Randy, she helped Matty with the idol, and she played the part of the swing vote many times. I hate the bitch too, but she did something. Sierra hasn’t done anything at all, until I guess now. I think it’s funny how she said in an interview that “You don’t have to be a bitch to play the game” or whatever, because despite what the fans think, she was a bitch at times. Remember what she said regarding Jerry? Sure, Jerry should’ve gone home in case he didn’t feel better afterwards, but that comment was just rancid. She was also just as bitter as Sandy when she got voted out, deservedly, in the beginning. That’s being bitchy. Just because she’s not the second coming of Corinne Kaplan doesn’t mean she’s not a bitch (though if I had the choice between spending an hour with Corinne and spending an hour with Leah Cohen from Top Chef 5, I would definitely hit it up with Corinne. Corinne's existence at least makes sense. Leah's does not. At all.).

All in all, I guess Sierra’s not a total bitch. The better word for her is “brat”. Sierra was a total brat. The complaining to Coach about working so hard after she was sick (it’s the least you can do to repay your tribe for keeping you in – Lord knows you didn’t deserve it over Candace and Jerry), the complaining to Coach about the beans (although it was his fault, it was a minor issue and she should’ve been over it faster than she was), the blaming Brendan for her being on the chopping block last week… She’s a brat. I don’t care how many people like her, she’s an annoying brat who does not deserve fan favorite because she didn’t play the game well. She’s not a good player. Let’s face it – she said in an insider video with Coach that she didn’t want to be the Natalie/Parvati/Cirie/Amanda to any Eriks in the game. What that means is that if she gets to the final five, and some dumbfuck decided to give her his/her immunity necklace, she wouldn’t try to use his stupidity against him and vote him out before he/she becomes a legitimate threat for the next immunity challenges. If that doesn’t showcase her own stupidity loud and clear enough, I don’t know what does.
Just kidding, yes I do. She seriously thought the ‘Paos (and Erinn) used her to get rid of Tyson. I don’t have a problem with overconfidence, and I know all humans are selfish in their own way, but that comment was just sickening. They did not use Sierra to get rid of Tyson. They knew what they were doing before she ran her mouth at Tribal. They used Tyson to get rid of Tyson. She had no clue Tyson was going home, therefore she was not used. It’s grossly selfish of her to think that she was the reason Tyson Apostol was eliminated. I can’t believe no one actually said anything about that on forums and shit. Stupid girl. Blind fans.

I’ll try to be positive. She was fairly likable in the Ponderosa episodes. I don’t doubt she’s a good person outside of the game. We’d probably be able to get along with Survivor out of the picture. I don’t think I’d really hang out with her though because our beliefs are like water and oil. I can get along with people with different opinions perfectly fine as long as we have other things to talk about. I don’t think Sierra and I would. I could go to Disneyworld with Debbie (bring JT and we will have a fucking blast on the teacups), play video games with Stephen, eat steak and swim in geysers with JT (considering how our age difference makes it so we can’t marry. Obviously. You were thinking it too.), go shopping with Erinn, flirt with guys with Sydney, sing songs with Joe, be snarky and play on Slip ‘n Slides with Tyson, play basketball with Brendan, talk about kissing guys with Candace… Hell, I would go to that samurai convention with Coach! That’s all well and good. Can I see Sierra and I hanging out like that? Not really. Whatever. I guess I should wish her the best of luck with modeling and travel shows and shit. It’s the least I can do.

I also approve of her eating once she got to Ponderosa. Then again, if eating is not the first thing you want to do when you get voted off Survivor, you’re fucking stupid. That’s a fact. At the same time, she eats all the time and is still this skinny?


See, that's just kinda gross. Sammich time for Sierra.

Next week, Taj cries. Uh oh. Also, Debbie targets Coach. This is a clear indication that Debbie will more than likely go home next week because this happened when Alex targeted Yau Man in Fiji. He went home. I wouldn’t care if Coach went though. I wouldn’t care if Erinn or Debbie went next either. The order of elimination really doesn’t matter as long as the final three consists of Taj, Stephen, and JT, preferably in that order from third to first. ‘Paos to the end, baby!