Saturday, May 2, 2009

Comments on ANTM12 and HK5

It's too close to the finales of these two shows to make legitimate recaps. Of course, I will recap their finales and rank all the contestants and shit, but you know? Their seasons end in two weeks. It's really not worth it to recap by episode. So, my overall thoughts at the moment...

America's Next Top Model 12

I'll admit, this season has also been a dud, like Survivor Tocantins had started out to be. It seems that, aside from Naima and Danielle's cycles, every even numbered cycle has been a dud. Sorry, Cycle 10 lovers, but it's true. It's way too obvious who should be the winner, who should go next, and who will undeservedly make the final three because everyone knew she would be the fan favorite. It irritates me.

That being said, Fo baby deserved to go home this past week.

Fo's been my favorite since the preshow videos. She's adorable, decent at walking, great at taking photos, and really? I don't know that many negatives I can give her. However, her picture wasn't the best, and when you don't book any jobs during go-see week, you deserve to go (Hear that, MARJORIE??). I do agree with a big majority of the fans - Fo was probably cheated by the "best photo" shit that Tyra's been pulling, and that probably wasn't her best photo. But really...the go-see thing sealed the deal.

At the same time, I'm so over Aminat. She's so gorgeous, but all of her pictures are just dull and awful. Ugh. Not to mention, she's pretty nasty. Whatever happened to "keep it cute or put it on mute"? You know, the the reason why she was so popular in the beginning? For real.

While I think I'm happy to see Celia stay, her shots have never been that great. She has roughly around the same face in every photo (her color powder shot being the only exception I can really think of). Those same beady eyes and that same shape of her mouth. I think she'd make a much better runway model than a print model. She's a sweet girl though, so I'm happy to see her stay. I just wish it wasn't between her and Fo. Despite it being Fo's week to go, of course I'm gonna want the person she's up against to go. Favoritism can't hold one back for too long.

Allison is such a cute girl in person, but my lord, is she overrated in terms of the competition. I'm glad we get to see the photo unblurred, and I won't deny she was cool on set, but this picture is not what it's hyped up to be at all. First off, the blurring was so unnecessary as her ass looks like it's one big blob with a triangle on it anyway. Secondly, she looks like an almost pissed off rabbit in the face. Sweet girl, I'm sure, but there's no reason people should be fawning over her.

Teyona's been getting the winner's edit since the first episode, and, although it's irritating, I can understand why. This shot trumps everyone else's by a long shot. She isn't the prettiest in person (she's not ugly though), but she transforms like crazy in photos. She's like the Branden Rickman of ANTM this season. She's amazing. Yes, she's kindof a trifling bitch, and yes, she's not exactly a likable bitch (although she has said some very hilarious lines. None of you should be able to deny that.), but that's really not important when she has so much talent. She should win. Unfortunately, because of her edit, she might not, but she should. Fuck the haters, Teyona's the only I'll be even slightly happy to see win, personality or not.

My assumption is this:

4. Aminat (duh)
3. Celia (Renee edit)
2. Teyona (it's too obvious)
1. Allison (because the judges hate me)

What I think should happen:

4. Aminat
3. Allison
2. Celia
1. Teyona

Whatever. Just because Fo's a little short doesn't mean she's not my winner this cycle. NEXT.

Hell's Kitchen

Watching the pre-merge portion of Survivor Tocantins was painful. Watching Hell's Kitchen 5 right after that was even worse. This season would be the worst yet it wasn't for season 3. Hell, it probably is still the worst season. It's just boring.

I've been calling Danny and Paula the final two since LA went home. I wanted it to be Danny and Gio until Gio went home, but Paula's been very consistent and even I can't avoid that, despite her stank personality. So what else is up?

It took way too long to get rid of Ben. He shouldn't have made black team over Carol. Plain and simple. And before anyone gets on me for Carol's backstabbing, Ben sabotaged people as well, so I don't want to hear it. Carol probably knew what a fucking plain salad is.

It also took way too long to get rid of Andrea. I knew she was going though. She is clearly blinded by her only strength (yelling at people) and she had been in the bottom two, what, five or four episodes in a motherfucking row? Yes, Virginia did the same thing in season two and made it to the final two, but that was a ridiculously stupid decision on Ramsay's part as well. I'm sure he wasn't planning on making the same shit mistake again.

So, who's gonna win? It's hard to tell. Paula hasn't exactly done anything wrong with the exception of last night, but it seems almost too obvious for her to win. Danny started off a little shaky, evolved into the amazing chef he is now, but ended a little rocky. It's very hard to tell.

I personally want Danny to win. I've liked him longer than I've liked Paula for one thing. Danny usually does nothing but blow me away with his skill. And really, I've been hoping he'd do this well since pre-show, so it'd be great. Also, I am sick as fuck of hearing the excuse of his age and immaturity. He's professional, just like Paula. Age, really, is nothing but a number. This whole "young = immature" and "old = experienced" deal is really why I root for the young ones - the excuse and myth is usually a load of horseshit. Danny might be more refined than one would think. I definitely think he has the chance to lead his final team better than he did this week.

Off topic: Danny and his girlfriend are adorable. Devon's so pretty - you can't tell in this shot obviously, but she was when I saw her in the episode.

Back on topic. Paula's been consistent, but she's never blown me away with her skill. For the first few weeks, I kept asking myself "Who's Paula?" She has had the "out sixth" edit until Coi went home, and I'm honestly shocked that, based on editing, she's been doing this well. Props to her, but I'm curious to know who'd work with her when she's bashing little kids, saying they'll never be surrounded by girls again (ep 6, anyone?). Still, I'm happy she's in the final, and considering how good she's been, I guess I'll be happy to see her win if worse comes to worse. If she doesn't win, let's face the facts - she's far better than half of the previous runners up of this show.

Andrea (bleh), Ben (gross), Carol (yay), Giovanni (yayyyy), LA (meh), and Lacey (fuck my life) are back to be selected for teams. This always depends on who wins that silly signature dish challenge, but I'm hoping the teams go as followed.

Danny: Giovanni, LA, Ben
Paula: Carol, Andrea, Lacey

I like Carol a lot more than I like Ben, but she's not that strong, and I think Danny and Ben work well together. Hopefully, Carol and Andrea don't pull a Christina and Corey on me and pull Paula into victory, but I doubt it. They never pulled their own team into victory, so it probably won't happen. I'd hate to let Paula deal with Lacey, but it's for Danny's own good.

Well, hoping for a decent finale to end such a lame and boring season. Still rooting for Danny, but since Ben and Andrea are not in the finals, it's really whatevs.

That's really all for now. Make Me a Supermodel and Survivor recaps coming up.

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